What is a stay-at-home mom? Whether you are a SAHM or not, this question can seem silly. But, I think it’s a very important question to ask yourself if you are or plan to stay home with your kids.
And the reason it’s important is that people have a lot of different ideas about what a SAHM should be or look like. What should SAHMs do while at home, what responsibilities should they take on, etc?
So, it’s easy going into the SAHM lifestyle thinking your life is supposed to look a certain way. You’re supposed to have a certain aesthetic in your home, teach your kids a certain way, or do nighttime routines a certain way.
But the truth is, the purpose of being a stay-at-home mom is pretty simple. (We will get into that below.) And each mother’s SAHM aesthetic and lifestyle should 100% look a little different from the next SAHM. As long as the basic purpose of staying home is met, the rest is just fill-in-the-blank!
What is Motherhood?
Trying to define motherhood can be a big task because it encompasses so much and looks a little different from home to home.
But, I think it’s safe to say that motherhood is the universal experience of a mother loving, nurturing, and guiding her children to success, goodness, and happiness as they travel through their human journey.
Now, it would be easy and even small-minded to simply say that motherhood is a biological woman birthing and raising her own children.
Yes, that is motherhood. And as a Christian, I’m definitely all for God’s design and purpose for the biological woman.
But we also know that mothers can come in different shapes and sizes. And there are so many biological mothers who have chosen not to be mothers for one reason or another and others who have failed their children through violence, abuse, and neglect.
So, to reduce motherhood to only the biological kind would do the term a disservice.
Yes, only women can be mothers. Yes, getting pregnant and giving birth are experiences only a woman can have. But a mother can still be a mom even if they weren’t able to get pregnant, carry their child physically, or give birth.
Because when we are talking about motherhood, we are not just talking about biology. We are talking about the role that a mother plays in a child’s life. And the true meaning of motherhood is more about the responsibility, the sacrifice, the pouring, and the supporting that a woman does for her children.
What is a Stay-at-Home Mom?
So, what is a stay-at-home mom? This question is so important because although it seems silly, people have strong opinions about whether women should be SAHMs, and whether or not it’s a real job.
When you hear the term “stay-at-home mom”, it can sound as if we moms just choose to sit at home all day with our kids.
But the truth is, we may “stay home” with our kids, but we do so much more than just stay home.
The real question should be “What do stay-at-home moms do” because the list is long.
A good stay-at-home parent description might be a parent (usually the mom) who chooses (or falls into) being home to provide full-time care for her children and family.
And as you know, if you’re a SAHM yourself, “full-time care” is definitely more than just sitting around doing nothing. Because even when we’re literally, physically sitting around, we are still caring for our kids by supervising, directing, and correcting.
We are moms that provide the same care, attention, and teaching that any daycare or preschool would. Only we do it ourselves, for our own children, without pay. And we are able to provide more love and affection to our children on a one-on-one level as their parents, who love them more than anyone.
This life of being home full-time with children is rewarding hard work. It is rewarding, but it is also work. Some days are super easy and smooth. Other days are trying and exhausting.
But we are just moms trying to make the best decisions we can for our families.
Stay-at-Home Mom Responsibilities
Speaking of exhausting, what exactly are stay-at-home mom responsibilities? What do stay-at-home moms do all day?
Well, every household has different needs. Every mom prioritizes different aspects of home and family, so it’s tough to put a blanket statement on what we all take care of on day-to-day.
However, in general, the number one duty of a SAHM is to care for her children all day. This includes (but is not limited to) feeding, bathing, entertaining, correcting, teaching, disciplining, clothing, and the list goes on.
But, I think many of us who are SAHMs can agree that in addition to that main responsibility, there are a myriad of other duties that we care for.
A lot of stay-at-home moms take on the majority of the housework. Because their husbands work outside the home, it just makes sense that most of the housework would fall to the person who is home, even though getting everything done can be challenging with kids.
But truthfully, if you’re a SAHM, your home is your own. You have to decide what matters most to you and your family. Keeping the house tidy and organized is very important. But which tasks have the higher priority, which areas you’ll pour more into, and what your family needs will be different from person to person.
The most important word in “stay-at-home mom” is the word “mom”. And if you are prioritizing your kids the best way you can in order to fit their needs, you are on the right track.
What is Motherhood Like for a Stay-at-Home Mom?
I’m hoping that by the end of this quick blog post, you’ll have a clearer perspective on ‘who’ and ‘what’ you are to your family as a SAHM. Of course, we know the basic definition of what a stay-at-home mom is. But we SAHMs know that there is so much more to just being home that makes us what we are.
Staying home full-time allows us to fulfill a motherly purpose and role that we just feel we personally cannot do if we worked outside the home.
Being a stay-at-home mom might not be the best route for all mothers. But for those of us who choose this life, or fall into it but choose to stick with it, we know the value we bring as moms who do all the motherhood things on a full-time basis.
All moms are full-time mothers. So this is not meant to say if you work full-time, you’re not a real mom.
But the difference is that instead of having a daycare or preschool temporarily take over duties while we work, SAHMs do all the things all the time. And with that comes unique challenges.
So, what is motherhood like for a stay-at-home mom? Motherhood for SAHMs can be both tiring, rewarding, challenging, and amazing all at the same time.
It’s choosing to dedicate those 6-8 hours out of the day that others use to attend a formal job, to be present with our kids. And if your kids are in school, it’s making yourself available for them during those hours if you’re needed, and being home to prepare the home for when they return.