Learning how to be a “good” stay-at-home mom can feel overwhelming and impossible at times. But, it truly depends on your definition of what a good stay-at-home mom actually is.
Being a stay-at-home mom is a rewarding yet challenging role that requires patience, love, and a whole lot of multitasking. And with so many duties and responsibilities it can often feel as though you’re failing in at least one or two areas at any given time.
As soon as you figure out a good system for laundry, the dishes start getting out of hand again. You’ve finally nailed keeping the bedrooms clean and organized, but now the clutter in the living room has piled up. You get my point.
There is a lot to juggle, and it can be hard to keep it all straight at the same time.
But what if I told you that it’s not about perfection? Not even close. What if I told you that being a good stay-at-home mom has less to do with perfecting all the systems, but more about simply putting in your best effort as often as you can?
In this post, we will be discussing how to be a better stay-at-home mom, not how to be the perfect stay-at-home mom. None of us would succeed if perfection was the goal.
How to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom
Before diving into how to be a good stay-at-home mom, we first should talk about what it means to be a stay-at-home mom. Essentially, it involves dedicating your time and energy to caring for your children and managing the household while foregoing a traditional career outside the home.
It’s a decision that many mothers make for various reasons, whether it’s to bond with their kids, save on childcare costs, or simply because they believe it’s the best choice for their family.
To be a stay-at-home mom, you simply need to become the full-time care giver of your home and family. There are some recommended things to do before becoming a stay-at-home mom. But generally, you quit your 9-to-5 job if you have one and just jump right in.
But you and I know that it starts simple, but does not stay simple.
Once you’re home, you quickly realize that it’s not simply being home that makes you a SAHM. Sure, you could sit around on your couch all day watching TV while your kids run around, but that wouldn’t be fulfilling the role would it?
Running an entire household by yourself comes with a lot of challenges. There are so many different areas that need attention within the home, including the different personalities of the members of your family. It’s a big job, whether people on the outside believe it is or not.
What Are the Qualities of a Good Mom?
Now, I know this post is supposed to be about how to be a good stay-at-home mom. However, stay-at-home moms are just regular moms who happen to stay home full-time. And just like any other mom, we try to attain the qualities needed to be good parents.
So, let’s dive into a few qualities that could make a good mom, regardless of whether she stays at home or pursues a career outside the home. In this section, we’ll look at a list of potential qualities that a mom striving to be a good mom could work towards.
- Unconditional love – You love your kids immensely, and there’s nothing your kids can do that will make you love them any less.
- Compassion – You not only love them, but you are kind and demonstrate compassion and tenderness to them when they are hurting or struggling.
- Patience – You take your time to understand, and remain calm and level-headed even when they might be frustrating you.
- Resilience – You can bounce back from tough situations with your kids quickly, whether that’s a mean comment from your child or just an emotionally trying day.
- Great Communicator – You can speak to your kids clearly and concisely, and personalize your communication style to meet each child’s needs.
- Problem solver – You can solve issues for your kids when they are struggling to do it themselves.
Additionally, a good mom strives to balance nurturing with discipline and understands the importance of self-care to recharge and stay mentally and emotionally healthy (even if she struggles to get that self-care time in).
Now, you might be looking at these qualities like, “Yeah right, I’m not as patient as I’d like to be”. Or, “Um, I’m definitely not the best communicator”.
Same! My patience is tested almost daily with a 2 and 5-year-old. And I don’t always communicate in the best way. I have to admit I do yell sometimes, and I often look back over the day with parenting regret.
While the qualities listed above are great to strive for, I think simply making a real, honest effort every day is worth so much. Having the ability to recognize when you’ve made a mistake or could have done better for your children is everything.
Making an effort to achieve these qualities is what counts because no one can be a perfect mom who never makes a mistake.
The Role of a Mother in the Home
The role of a mother in the home is multifaceted and ever-evolving. From cooking meals (and trying to make them nutritious), helping with homework, soothing scraped knees, and providing emotional support, mothers wear many hats throughout the day.
We strive to create a warm and loving environment where our kids can thrive and grow into confident, independent individuals.
And this isn’t to say that fathers aren’t also responsible for some of these things as well. But generally, a lot of the parenting duties within the home usually fall more heavily on moms, for one reason or another. And it especially seems so when you’re a stay-at-home mom.
One benefit of being a stay-at-home mom is being able to provide meals, help with homework, be there emotionally, and do all the things without the distraction of a full-time job or career. If all these duties will fall on you anyway, might as well do it full-time and thrive at it.
But in general, mothers are already naturally more nurturing. We tend to be a bit more sensitive to our children’s emotional needs. And being home allows us to truly observe and be in tune with what’s going on with our children.
The role of a mother in the home, of course, is not confined to cooking and cleaning. You may live in a household where your husband does most of the cooking, for example. Or if you do work outside the home, maybe you two split the household chores.
However, we can provide something that our husbands cannot provide. An innate, God-given ability to nurture our children. Just as fathers have their innate strengths and abilities. Both come together to complement one another in parenting.
So within the home, a mother’s number one role should be to love and nurture. Everything else comes second to that.
How to Be a Good Stay-at-Home Mom
So, what does it take to be a good stay-at-home mom?
Before we dive into some useful tips, let’s caveat with this: Being a “good stay-at-home mom” really just boils down to loving your children.
That’s it!
If we equate our “goodness” to the things that we do or don’t do well, or the things that we excel at or fail at, we’ll never measure up. The standards are just too high for today’s moms.
We are human, and just like anyone else, we make mistakes and get things wrong sometimes. As a Christian, I believe that the only human in existence that achieved perfection was Jesus. And we certainly can’t be Jesus.
We should expect that we’ll fail at times. That at times we won’t be the nicest mom, or the most patient mom. Or that the house won’t be perfectly tidy all the time, or the kids won’t be the best behaved all the time.
But a good stay-at-home mom simply loves her children unconditionally and does her best every day to strive for success in her home.
So, “How to be a good stay-at-home mom” isn’t the best way to frame the question. Maybe what you’re really looking for is “how to be a successful stay-at-home mom?” The biggest and best tip I can give anyone to be a good SAHM is just to love your kids and do your best every day.
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How to be a Successful Stay-at-Home Mom
Okay, now, let’s dive in. Here are a few tips to help you excel in your role as a stay-at-home mom:
13 Ways to Be a Successful Stay-at-Home Mom
(1) Establish a Routine or Schedule: Having a daily routine can provide structure and stability for both you and your children. The routine doesn’t have to be rigid or strict. But generally setting regular meal times, nap times, or play times can create a sense of predictability and consistency.
This includes creating routines and schedules for household chores and management. Create a stay-at-home mom checklist that you can refer to every day to help you stay on track.
(2) Plan: Planning ahead will make your days go so much smoother. In addition to your daily routine and schedule, which will mostly be consistent from day to day, plan out special activities or outings you plan to do. You can write out a daily meal plan, homeschool plan, or a to-do list for the day. Using a simple planner is always a great idea.
(3) Stay Organized: From meal planning and grocery shopping to managing household finances and scheduling doctor’s appointments, staying organized is key to keeping things running smoothly. Consider using a planner or digital calendar to keep track of important dates and tasks.
(4) Declutter: Continuous decluttering is crucial. You can’t clean or organize clutter. You can try. But it rarely looks clean and tidy when you do. And it won’t stay that way long. Remove things from your home that no longer serve your family.
(5) Prioritize Self-Care: Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Make self-care a priority by carving out time for yourself each day. Whether it’s taking a bubble bath, going for a walk, or indulging in your favorite hobby, find activities that help you relax and recharge.
(6) Delegate Tasks: This is so important! Remember, just because you’re a stay-at-home mom, doesn’t mean you have to do it all alone! Enlist the help of your partner or older children to share the workload. This will help lighten your load and prevent burnout.
(7) Connect with Other Moms: Being a stay-at-home mom can sometimes feel isolating, so it’s essential to connect with other moms for support and camaraderie. Join a local moms’ group, attend playdates, or participate in online forums and social media groups to share advice, swap stories, and build friendships with fellow moms.
(8) Embrace Flexibility: Being a stay-at-home mom requires flexibility and adaptability. Be prepared to roll with the punches and adjust your plans as needed. Remember that it’s okay to deviate from your routine occasionally and go with the flow.
(9) Focus on Quality Time: Quality time is more important than quantity. Make the most of the time you have with your children by being fully present and engaged. Put away distractions like smartphones and TVs and focus on creating meaningful connections with your kids through play, conversation, and shared experiences.
(10) Lead by Example: As a stay-at-home mom, you’re not just taking care of your children—you’re also shaping their values, beliefs, and behavior through your actions. Lead by example by demonstrating kindness, respect, and empathy in your interactions with others.
(11) Practice Gratitude: Amid the chaos and busyness of motherhood, it’s easy to lose sight of the blessings in our lives. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude by regularly reflecting on the things you’re thankful for.
(12) Correct and Discipline: Don’t get lazy about correcting your children. For our kids to be well-behaved, mannerable, and respectful, we have to consistently correct them. If we start to let things slide, we will see this impact our children and even the peace within the home.
(13) Mindset: To be a successful stay-at-home mom, you must have a positive attitude concerning your choice of lifestyle. Society might get you questioning your worth and value as a stay-at-home mom. So make sure you have a positive and confident mindset so that you’re in a good place to take on any negativity that comes your way.
Tips for Stay-at-Home Moms
To wrap things up, here are a few additional tips to help you navigate the ups and downs of stay-at-home motherhood.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Whether it’s hiring a babysitter for a few hours or reaching out to a friend for emotional support, there’s no shame in seeking assistance.
- Take breaks when you need them. It’s okay to take a time-out and step away from the chaos to collect your thoughts and recharge your batteries.
- Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes. Motherhood is a journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and challenges. Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and keep moving forward.
- Trust your instincts. You know your children better than anyone else, so trust yourself to make the best decisions for them.
- Above all, love yourself and love your children fiercely. Cherish the precious moments you have together and savor the journey of motherhood.
In Conclusion
Whether you’re just starting on this journey or you’ve been at it for years, I hope you found these tips helpful. Remember, being a stay-at-home mom is one of the most important and rewarding jobs in the world, so embrace the joys and challenges that come with it. Cherish every moment with your little ones.
And remember being a good stay-at-home mom is less about the things you do, but your heart posture while you do it. Allow your family to feel your heart, your love, and your joy as you manage the home. And have grace on yourself if you can’t muster the extra stuff in this season.
You are welcome to download the following printable challenge HERE for free! Use this 13 day challenge to kick start your journey to becoming a more successful SAHM. No email is required. And don’t forget to visit the Free Resources page on your way out!
