Quitting your job to stay home with the kids? Well, get ready for open commentary. In this post, we will discuss how to stop caring what people think about our decision to be a SAHM.
Choosing to stay home to raise your own kids can spark so much discussion, curiosity, and even disappointment from others. You would think you told people you were quitting your full-time job to be a clown.
And once you do it, in comes the questions and comments:
- What do you do all day?
- Don’t you get bored just being home?
- I just don’t want you wasting your degree.
Oh, the questions and comments. Aren’t they fun? When you first decide to take the plunge into full-time stay-at-home motherhood, it almost feels like you have to constantly explain and defend your reasons.
So, how do you stop caring what others think about you and your decision to stay home? Well, let’s talk about that AND why you should stop caring TODAY?
Why You Should Stop Caring What People Think About You Being a SAHM
In general, it’s just not good to obsess over what others think about you. Doing this can cause so much damage in your life.
And if you’re a Christian, one of the more powerful reasons to work on this ASAP is that it can stop you from doing the will of God. And as a stay-at-home mom, this could impact how you raise your kids or how you run your home.
This post, Caring What Others Think, lists some other really great reasons it so important to stop caring about what others think, as well as some Bible verses touching on the topic if you’re wanting to dive more into it biblically.
But, I’ve been truly blessed. My family has mostly been very supportive of my decision to become a stay-at-home mom. But I know that there are some stay-at-home moms who really get grilled and put through the ringer for making the choice to stay home.
And some of the comments, questions, and even well-intended advise can really be hurtful.
And not just hurtful, but cause you to doubt your decision, doubt yourself, and just feel lousy.
If you’re anything like I was in the beginning, I would always wonder what certain people felt about my decision. Was I letting anyone down? Was anyone surprised, disappointed, or thinking I made a mistake?
Those types of questions kind of plagued my brain.
It’s one thing to learn how to stop caring what people think, but we also need to understand why it’s so important to stop.
For me, caring too much about what others think was stealing my joy.
That is the reason you NEED to stop worrying about what others think about your being a SAHM TODAY! Spending time worrying about what others are saying and thinking about your situation only robs you of your joy. Nothing else.
Let’s not allow other people’s opinions to take away the joy that God has blessed us with.
How to Stop Caring What People Think About You Being Home
If you’re a stay-at-home mom, and you often feel sensitive to others’ opinions of your decision to be home full-time, you’re not alone. I think it’s natural to want your mom, dad, siblings, friends, etc, to be proud of you and to approve of what you’re doing.
But one thing is true for sure. Their opinions LITERALLY cannot affect you unless you allow it. What people say about you truly, in real life, cannot alter a thing about your life; only your emotions IF you allow it to do so.
Seriously. No matter what is thought or said about you, it doesn’t change the fact that you get to be home with your beautiful babies.
So one way to stop caring what others think about you is to remind yourself of the facts. The fact is you are a stay-at-home mom. And no one can take that away from you just because they disagree with your decision to be one.
You get to be a full-time, at-home mommy to your children. And people thinking that you’re lazy, or wasting your talents, or giving up on life, quite literally affects nothing.
But My Family and Friends Think Stay-at-Home Moms are Lazy
One stigma you might hear is that stay-at-home moms are lazy. We don’t work. We just sit around with the kids all day. And our homes should be spotless because we don’t work. And if they’re not, well, we must be lazy.
Well, first, watching the kids all day is work all on its own. Kids will keep you busy all on their own without any added responsibilities. So let’s get that out of the way.
But in reality, lots of stay-at-home moms juggle so much more than “just sitting with the kids”. Many of us juggle managing the family’s budget, meal planning, cooking meals, cleaning the house, making family appointments, paying bills, and all while holding a baby on our hips and while toddlers are pulling at our legs.
If you want to know how to stop caring what people think about your being a SAHM, one way is by remembering all that you do. We’ve got to learn to be okay with others thinking we are lazy, or whatever else they think. Because at the end of the day, we know the hard work we do every day.
And so does God.
How to Stop Allowing People’s Opinions to Steal Your Joy
You might be thinking, of course, their opinions don’t actually affect anything in a tangible way. But what about your feelings? How do you stop the opinions from bothering you so much?
Well, sometimes a self-examination is important.
Ask yourself, what is it exactly about so-and-so’s comment that bothered me so much? Why do I care what others think about me and my decision to stay home?
Figuring out the why could really help open your eyes.
For about the first couple of years of being a SAHM, I would get so irritated by certain comments. But, when I honestly self-evaluated, I realized in some of those cases, I was reacting because I was the one insecure in my decision to stay home. I felt as if maybe I had given up, and I didn’t want others validating what I wrongfully thought was true.
I was seeking validation in people, and getting disappointed. It was as if I was wanting everyone in my life to pat me on the back for my decision. And when someone’s thoughts were the opposite, I felt they only confirmed what I was feeling.
So, in other words, if you want others’ opinions to stop stealing your joy, I think you first have to figure out why it’s stealing it in the first place. What is it about that person or their comment that is triggering something within?
4 Ways to Stop Caring What Others Think About You Being a SAHM
I’d like you to walk away with 4 solid ways to help you stop caring about what other people think about you and your decision to be home. These will summarize what we’ve discussed so far:
- Focus on the FACTS; focus on what’s true. You are home, and their opinions cannot change that or take that away from you.
- Only God’s opinion really matters and He sees all the hard work that you do.
- When you start to believe the lie that you’re lazy, or that you don’t really work, just remind yourself of all the hard work you do every day for your family.
- Reevaluate WHY their opinions bother you so much. You may uncover something internal that needs work and prayer.
In Conclusion
You are blessed with the opportunity to stay home with your kids. To see them grow. To see them smile and learn every day.
And just like any job, you will have good days and bad days, easy days and challenging days, even boring days and super exciting days.
But, in this season of stay-at-home motherhood, don’t let other people’s opinions crowd your mind to the point where it steals your joy. This is only a season. So you should treasure it because one day you will look back and it will be over.
It’s okay to care what your loved ones think, but only to a degree. When that care starts causing you stress, dictating your choices, and stealing your joy, it’s time to stop.
I hope this post has helped show you how to stop caring what others think about your choice to be a SAHM and how not to allow others to affect your happiness.
You are welcome to download your free “Stop Fearing Their Opinions” devotional below! No email is required. And don’t forget to visit the Free Resources page on your way out!
